| My (Attainable) Goals for the New Year | |||
| 09:05pm 08/12/2009 | |||
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| After the Hiatus | ||||
| 12:48am 03/11/2009 | ||||
The reason I chose to write today is that I've got some reflecting to do. I will preface that by saying that there's a partial draft of an entry that's been a long time coming sitting on my desktop, where I want to say all the things I've been keeping in about my family. It's been so long since I started it that I can't remember what I've written, and I've been putting off checking up on it because A) I don't feel like getting myself that pissed again and B) I'm scared of what I wrote. I think I'm going to at least read it over when I'm done with this. Anyway so I was listening to Poe (as I always do when I need to do some deep thinking) and creeping through old pictures on facebook, reliving parties and get-togethers that seem like they occurred years ago. So much has changed in a year, it's almost alarming. The pictures specifically showed so many people and times, that no longer exist in my circle of friends or who have changed so dramatically that they no longer seem like the same person. I guess you could go so far as to say that I had a lot of "whirlwind friendships" this past year. As Shawn mentioned to me recently, our birthday party was really the last time the whole "gang" was together. Breakups, habits, jobs, and lifestyles have strained out a lot of the people that used to come by on a regular basis. We hold fewer parties now with smaller guest lists for the most part, and I plan on holding even fewer in the next year. I've found friendship in my two roommates who are both so different than myself, and I can say that I've learned something from each of them. In Shawn I've learned that money isn't everything, and that it does not need to control your life (this has been an invaluable, even life-saving lesson for me). Ali is constantly forcing me into a sort of big-sister role, something I haven't really experienced in years. I still can't fully comprehend why she likes me so much, nor the other girls who have come and gone into our world this past year. I've started getting back into reading, and my mind feels like it's reinitializing. I'm currently re-reading Neal Boortz's "Somebody's Gotta Say It" and realizing how much more bitter I've become towards the human race in the past few months. I think today I'm able to sum it up best: I hate simple people. Simple being an all-encompassing term to describe stupid, lazy, boring, ignorant, dependent, humorless, bigoted people in general. Every day I get more and more complacent towards those around me that I'm not close to. I have less of a sense of humor toward people who try to be funny with me, I've become annoyed by those who greet me, and angered by those that make things difficult for me. The policies, the people, and all the gears turning in the great machine of the behemoth I work for make me sick. There are a few redeemable ones that make the day go by a little faster, but for the most part I'd be thrilled if an asteroid crushed that whole building and all the people in it. The more customers the better. On the topic of work, I must take a moment to discuss my boss, Ryan. The recent subject of a bit of disgruntlement from Andrew, Ryan and I do, as he so astutely observed, have a certain connection. Intellectually I find him to possess a wealth of knowledge that makes for great conversation, and to say I haven't learned anything from my friendship with him would be a total lie. If anything else he's helped me see how foggy a farce this whole system is that we live in, and to question everything. His ideas and that of Neal Boortz, among others, have helped me open my eyes to how fucked up and broken everything is and dig deeper into the potential that my mind has. My long, dull days in that horrible cement box are certainly less unappetizing on days I know that I've got hours of conversation with him to look forward to. Andrew and I are, still, doing fine. We're actually very boring. Our relationship is quickly approaching a 3rd anniversary, and as adults we've fast fallen into that "married couple" syndrome so many people joke about with long-term relationships. We really don't do much of that fun first-date kind of exciting things anymore and sometimes I really miss it, but in the end a few first dates aren't worth trading in the comfort and intimacy of the relationship we have. As the days pass and I become more and more sure that the whole marrying kids deal will be happening with him in the next few years (not so much out of "OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH" as our ages, our dependence, our intimacy, our comfort, and our acceptance of each other), I've been thinking a lot about children, mostly because of how sickened I am at the people around me, the school systems, the government, the laziness, the complacency. I'm seriously considering becoming a (believe it or not) stay at home mom, or at least a work from home mom, while I home school my kids. Actually, before I go any further, let me clarify for the sake of understanding that a lot of the thoughts and decisions I've made for myself recently are sort of connected in a chain-link, one leading to another leading to another leading to another etc. and back around again. Now back to the kids thing, if I become a stay/work from home mom I need to be able to have produced enough income to provide for my kids. This in turn cements my resolution to get a better job, from a better education, and as a result I just applied for a scholarship from that evil cement box company I work for. They've already spent their money to make me an optician, and soon will be paying to renew my license as an optician, so hopefully they'll continue the trend and hook me up. I should also apply for more; maybe I'll look around tomorrow. I'm also thinking about swallowing the pill and getting a loan so I can buy myself a car. I really hate to put myself into deeper debt, but the time and activity constraints placed on Andrew & I with our current arrangements, not to mention the gas wasted going back & forth so much, are really starting to outweigh the extra monthly payment as the days pass. Now bumping back to reading & the government as previously mentioned, sometime soon as I'm going to sit myself down and study up on American History and politics. With any luck that 4/5 I scored in AP History will do me right and I'll remember some stuff. We were watching "National Treasure" last night and I was fascinated with all the clues & artifacts associated with the Free Masons and the US in general, and I was psyched when I remembered things they mentioned either thanks to history lessons or "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown (which mostly takes place in D.C.). It's really my duty as an American (a real American, not some sedate drone who listens to & does whatever big brother tells me to) to understand and live by the belief in liberty this country was founded on, and to fully comprehend how the show is being run now and why the people running it shouldn't be. It should be interesting. I know I've said it a billion times and if I'd lost 1 pound for every time it came up I'd be set right now, but the whole getting into shape thing...yeah. I stopped by a local gym 2 weeks ago and I intend on joining, even though it took a lot of mental preparation to screw up the nerve to set foot through the door. It seems they're doing a promotion where I work, and I'm planning on stopping in tomorrow to meet with the female manager who's supposed to be my adviser or something if I join. I think this will be a big help because, like my crafting, I don't really have a designated area to do it otherwise. I've been unable to make it a habit because I don't have an environment that puts me into the working-out mindset. I can't get into the mindset of taking vitamins every day, which is why I still, after years, haven't been able to get myself into the habit of taking them. I've got to change my environment so my mind will be open to absorbing & enacting that new data. I'm also trying to force myself into giving deeper thought into what I put in my mouth, not so much the fat & calorie aspects of it but at how much of the "food" I consume is, essentially, garbage. Why am I treating trash? I'd like to be able to gross myself out enough that it makes a difference. Well, I've suddenly run out of steam. My hands are cold, my back muscles are sore, my ovaries are lurching, and I'm getting sleepy. I shouldn't sleep too late tomorrow anyway because I plan on stopping by the gym as previously mentioned and I'd like to clean my room & fold laundry. Farewell, my dears. |
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| What up, bitches? | ||||
| 06:55pm 20/08/2009 | ||||
Not too much has been new since my last update. We didn't go camping per my last entry because a lot of shit ended up going down and everyone hated each other for a few weeks. Andrew's birthday was pretty unremarkable because he waited til like, a week before, to start planning. If I remember correctly it was just a few people over hanging out & getting swerpy. 3 weeks ago was the LeClair family reunion. It was a beautiful day, and Christos actually took time out of his busy life to come. I didn't put any sunblock on til we got there so I got a nice sunburn on my passenger-side arm. There weren't as many people this year and we were in a different spot because someone was already where the family usually stations. It was fun though. Ali's birthday was last weekend, it was a fun time and she had a blast. Andrew made her a nifty hemp keychain and got her some cool peace-sign VW stickers for her car, and I got her a glass with hearts & peace signs on it, a giant inflatable penis for everyone to sign, and I made her a pearl & ribbon necklace. A friend of hers from high school made this totally bitchin' peace-sign birthday cake, but it's really sugary so not many people have been eating it. I think it's delish but don't want to eat too much, lol. And that's about it. Life sounds pretty boring but it's really not, I just don't waste my time updating about my trip to the mall and all the stuff I bought and useless crap like that anymore. Most nights I come home and get fucked up and tool around, not the most heart-pumping life but it's fun and I (usually) enjoy it. Peace out, niggas! |
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hungry| A month later... | ||||
| 12:58am 21/06/2009 | ||||
Birthday!As I may have previously mentioned, Shawn and I have the same birth date. He turned 21 this year, and I 23. We decided to have a big party over the weekend spanning two days.The day began early with Shawn on a scavenger hunt for his birthday gift from us. He woke up and found a treasure map piece hanging from his doorway, with a clue attached to where to find the next map piece. This continued on for a few more clues until he had the map fully assembled and then he followed it out front to his gift: a treasure chest full of plastic booty along with a hat, hook, and flask, and it was all resting at the base of a flagpole with jolly roger flying! He had mentioned getting a flag pole, and Andrew and I ran with it! Here's the treasure map before we pieced it up:  Then I went and got my hair cut, and got home just as people started showing up. The guest list included:
After going home, bathing, and getting presentable, TJ, Meri, Andrew, & I set out to go to a classic car show. Unfortunately by the time we got there clouds and sprinkles had sent everyone for cover =( We ended up going to the Mall of New Hampshire and I got shoes, and an Orange Julius smoothie for free =) I forget what Andrew and I did after that; I think we went to another mall or something but it's lost on me now. Overall it was an awesome weekend and it took several days for us to finish the cake (we made Paige eat all the balloon pieces)! My gifts:
Since Then...The Tuesday after the party we all took a trip to the DMV, Shawn for a replacement license and my for a driver's test. I passed! I have a driver's license now! I was shocked, lol. I still don't drive a lot (I hate driving the Tiburon)but at least now I legally can, and I might look into getting my own car next year once we're closer to paying the Tiburon off. I'd like a Mitsubishi Eclipse, but we'll see.Not much else has happened. Ryan J. and I got fucked up and hung out while everyone else went to see "The Hangover" one Saturday, and I've fallen in love with Old Navy again. My house is still awesome; we don't use the shed so much nowadays since we've taken to hanging out inside. Oh, I started a blog a few nights ago called The Weekly Thunkit where I'll hopefully be posting something random once a week that I think is cool, and keep my mind and vocabulary stretched. I hope to update it every Monday night. Today...Today Rizzi, Ryan R., Mike (b.k.a. Fisher), Andrew, and I all met up at Chili's to for lunch while Mike is here for leave. We ate food, harassed each other, and then went to Barnes & Noble where I picked up the book "Pot Culture" with my gift card. It was great to see Mike; he'll be back in January (hopefully). After that everyone sans Mike headed back to my place, and soon Rob, Paige, Kurt, & briefly Kyle joined the bunch and we had a big impromptu Guitar Hero partyfest. I got brave and did some singing but now my throat is killing me. I hope I'm not getting sick! Just took some Airborne and I'll keep my fingers crossed.Coming Soon3-day camping trip with most of the Taco Night crew. I don't wanna shit in the woods, so things should be interesting! |
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okay, but my throat is sore...| An update quicker than your mom | ||||
| 01:41am 20/05/2009 | ||||
However, as comfortable as I am right now, I'm beginning to realize that I'm getting too comfortable. The other night as I lay down in preparation for sleep, I realized that it has been a long, long time since I've stepped out of my comfort zone and tried something that scared me. I don't know why, but I've become very shy of new things. Back when I was in high school, I wrote out a list of things I wanted to do before I died. A lot of them were things that stretched my limits of comfort, such as bungee jumping, trying a new food, learning a new language, or getting a tattoo. I don't know what happened to that list, but I'm fairly confident that I still haven't achieved anything on it. Why am I so afraid? I really can't say for sure, but knowing myself as well (or as poorly) as I do, I'm fairly confident it's rejection-fear related. I'm afraid of losing if I try, despite the fact that the end result if I succeed is a trillion times better than the regret of failure. A lot of my fears are related to menial things others take for granted (like driving) but I'm so self-conscious that I'm being judged poorly that I prefer not to try. Maybe it's because I'm still not over Papou "leaving me," maybe it's because of most of the girls I surround myself with, maybe it's just a result of such a nice life right now, I'm not sure. I am sure though that there's a shell I'm hiding myself in, and I'd like to try to break back out of it. I still don't know if my will is stronger than this deep-seeded fear. I wanted to delve deeper into this, but I'm pretty fucked up now (I used "awesome" in that first paragraph way too many times) and full and I need to go to bed. Perhaps I'll elaborate later. |
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full| Day-Old Pizza & Frappuccinos | ||||
| 04:03pm 20/04/2009 | ||||
Stuff at home's been good. Shawn & Ali are currently off celebrating their first-year anniversary but they're due back sometime tonight I think. The other day we all took a field trip together to Headlines and then Andrew, Ali, & I worked together to re-vamp a broken down mirror I bought at the Christmas Tree Shop for like a buck fifty-nine. It now hangs by the front door:  The mirror itself is a little scratched so I might replace it as some point but right now it does the job. The caps are all from alcohol that's been consumed in this place lol. I'm really glad we have roommates that we enjoy living with. Things with Andrew are well. So many people I know are already and/or starting to think about getting married, so we've starting talking about it in passing from time to time. It'll probably end up happening if not for any other reason than that we're both comfortable in our situations with each other. I'm content with who he is and how he makes me feel, and how he feels about me. It's nice to be able to talk about it in an abstract-yet-plausible manner, meaning that we don't plan on it happening anytime soon but we're rationally discussing what may come. ( And on that note, a very depressing yet cathartic blurb on death... ) Okay, that feels a bit better. It's been a long time since I've written something so candid so if not for anything else, at least I've exercised my writing skills. The only other news going on in my world is that Shawn & I are having a big birthday bash next month because we have the same birthday. We're planning on setting up tents in the yard and maybe projecting movies on the side of the house. As per usual, it's not solidifying in my mind that my birthday is coming up. I'm aware it's Shawn's 21st birthday and I'm more fixated on setting up a kick-ass party than having anybody fussing over me. I have absolutely no idea what I want for my birthday, and surprisingly, neither does anyone else. If anyone needs ideas, I have a "wish list" up at Kaboodle where I usually chronicle neat things I'd like to one day acquire. If anything else maybe it can serve as an inspiration point for people? Check it out. Holy shit it's already 4:00?! Oh man, I've still got so much nothing to do today! I better get on it! Lolz. |
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cathartic| I am aliiiiiiiiiiiive! | ||||
| 03:34pm 27/03/2009 | ||||
March 1st my Valentine's Gift from Andrew finally arrived! He got me a matching necklace & ring with heart-shaped birthstones (I'm May and he's July so it looks like Christmas, lol) and our names, and the ring says "Always & Forever" on the inside. Picture!  March 14th was Tom & Uncle Philip's birthday. I gave Uncle Phil a birthday card a few days before when I stopped by to bring Yiayia a new bamboo plant (that she says is doing very well). He really liked the card. Christos and I are hoping to take him bowling or something to "celebrate" (last year we took him out to dinner like, 6 months late. We fail). St. Patrick's Day we had a crazy party at the house. It was a lot of fun. Paige took my funneling virginity although most of it ended up on my shirt (it comes down fast!)  There are so many awesome pictures and once I find my photo mural wall-hanging things so I know what size, I'm going to print up a bunch of them (and of subsequent parties) and hang them up in the livingroom. Also on the 17th, before the party, I cut my hair! Thanks to Rhiannon's suggestion I went to this awesome place called Serendipity and they gave me sexy hair! It really is so very adorable:  I told the stylist (Sue) that it was the first time I felt like the person cutting my hair actually cared how it would look on me, and didn't just cut what I said I wanted regardless of how it would work. She was totally awesome and I will be returning to her for sure! Not much else other than that. OH! Wes texted me out of the blue last week. Wanted to see if I'd model for some huge project he might be doing if he can get enough funds for it. I told him I would on the condition that we go out and catch up first. I hope he takes me up on that. Also, Ryan (who never gets sick) was out sick this week so I worked 2 consecutive doubles in 4 workdays and have today off in exchange. One of our patients thought we were dating last night due to the banter, lmao. I missed him when he was out sick and felt really bad when he gave me the details on his illness, I admit it! Okay, it's 3:30 and I've yet to shower, and I've got plans for doing my nails and such today. It's been long enough since Ali showered for the hot water to return, so off I go. Peace out, Niblonians! |
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| Salutations | ||||
| 01:34am 20/02/2009 | ||||
I have finally seen and fallen in love with "Repo! The Genetic Opera." It's amazing. I listened to the sountrack nonstop for maybe 2 weeks, and my phone is all decked out Repo-style, with wallpaper, screensaver, ring & textones all reflecting the flick. And I got one of Wes' friends from college into it too![/fangirl] Cousin Harry lost his fight with cancer on February 9th. I didn't go to the services, but sent Connie a really nice card. I've only seen Uncle Philip & Yiayia since then; I go down there every few weeks to check up on Yiayia. I gave her my old cell phone so I swing down to bring her directions & glasses cleaner and stuff and then we go to St. Hilare's and do our laundry in the ghetto. Uncle Steve is still in rehabilitation from shattering his ankle last month. I haven't talked to him and I keep forgetting to get his address at the rehab facility so I can send him a card. This Saturday will be our 4th "Taco Night," which is essentially an excuse for all our friends to come over, recreate in excess, and eat tacos! This will be Rhiannon & Christos' (if he fucking remembers) first one, so it should be super-exciting! Along with the usual fare there will be Super Mario Bros. cupcakes, and possibly Malibu rum smoothies. Thank goodness I don't have to work Sunday. In the past month, something very weird has happened: I've made friends with girls. I never make friends with girls. Girls are catty and bitchy and dramatic and too much of a pain in the ass for me, but I've managed to make two of them. First there's Paige, Rob's girlfriend. She's the epitome of airhead, but she's quick and lets us tease her so it's all good. She's verry offbeat in that, at first sight she looks like one of those generic Cali girls (she goes tanning like, every other day) who loves to party & drink. But, she's got lots of crazy piercings (including one on the back of her neck *shudder*), and she likes ska music. She's almost never grouchy and she always gets excited about the littlest things, and doesn't hold back on anything (like today she told Rachael & I about how she cut herself shaving & has to walk funny now). She's one of those people who's great to have around if you want to get enthusiastic about something. She reminds me of Chrissy on "Three's Company." Then, there's Rachael. At first I was very weary of Rachael. She worked at the café and always looked miserable, and Andrew has a crush on her (she looks a lot like his best friend from high school, Amy [Sandra's sister]). I talked to her on occasion but she never really seemed happy, so I kind of avoided her. Then, she got out of the café and blossomed into a happy, totally friendly gal who decided that I was cool. It definately helps ease the discomfort of your boyfriend crushing on someone when they're your friend and like you more than him, lol. Now she's always talking to me, hanging out with me before & after work and wanting us to go out. She just recently broke up with her tool of a boyfriend and we're all living the high school drama while she and our friend Kyle do the I-like-you-do-you-like-me dance =) Valentine's Day was this past Saturday. I worked until 5:00, and then Andrew and I went to Bella Italia for dinner. I got my beloved pumpkin ravioli ♥. After that we met up with Paige & Rob and went to see "Coraline" in 3D at the Lowe's Theatre in Methuen. The movie itself was visually great, but quite sinister. In the end the message essentially was "so what if yoru parents suck, that's the best you're gonna get" but it was enjoyable, and the 3D looked awesome. Andrew and I can't wait to go see "Monsters vs. Aliens" in 3D when it comes out---we're planning on doing a Movie-a-la-Taco-Night for that. After the movie we went home to swerpytime. I wanted to get a cute Valentine's picture of us and then Andrew decided to bust out the 3D glasses and we had some fun: 
I got artsy on the cute one of us:  In other news, I was in the Boston Globe in a story about negotiating medical debt. Hopefully I'm as lucky with the hospitals as I was with the ambulance company. I also have made my *FINAL* payment to Umass Lowell so I have no more debts to them! I'm still paying off the U.S. Department of Education but their monthly payments are much more manageable. Now I can start socking away some money and look into online courses. |
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tired
| This Layout Looks Shitty If You Don't Title It | |||
| 03:47am 12/02/2009 | |||
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Ganked from here Last Cigarette: Blech, probably some time last year. I can't stand the taste of those damn things anymore. Last Kiss: Within the past few hours. Last Cry: I fell on my face superbowl Sunday & scraped my knee...man does that hurt! A few tears escaped despite my best effort to look tough. Last Library Book Checked Out: Man, I haven't been to the library in a while. I think the last one was a Lillian Jackson Braughn one, though I usually check out at least four at a time (and mentally gobble them up). It's kind of sad that I don't remember anything about the book I mentioned in my answer from 2004. Last Movie Seen In a Theatre: Oh, this is a tough one...Andrew tells me it was "Batman: The Dark Knight." We don't go to the movies as often as we used to. Last Book Read: The Ultimate Duct Tape Book, lol. Last Cuss Word Uttered: Either "dammit" or "hell." Last Beverage Drank: Sparkilng fruit-flavored water Last Food Consumed: A chocolate-mint candycane Last Phone Call: Called Christos on my way home to ask him about something I don't end up needing him to do Last TV Show Watched: I loathe television. Sat through 10 minutes of "King of Queens" on Tuesday when visiting Yiayia & Uncle Philip. Last Time Showered: This morning Last Shoes Worn: Currently wearing cute slippers Heidi gave me for Christmas =) Last CD Played: REPO! The Genetic Opera (at least 100 times...) Last Soda Drank: Probably some of Andrew's root beer to take a vitamin with or something Last Thing Written: Other than the answers to these questions, I wrote a large-print instruction sheet for Yiayia on how to perform some basic functions on the cell phone I gave her (screw what my mother has said, I'm a damn good kid) Last Key Used: Locking the tray cabinets at work Last Words Spoken: "Trying to remember the last book I read," to Andrew Last Sleep: Too long ago!... Last IM: I IMed Rizzi earlier to tell her not to sleep, but I think she was asleep when I sent it, lol. Last Sexual Fantasy: Hrm, I had a dream the other night that Rizzi wanted my shit, not really a fantasy (she's like a sister) but it was very, uh, realistic? Last Ice Cream Eaten: Hrm, tough one. Pumpkin pie with pumkin ice cream was back in what, November? December? Last Time Wanting to Die: A few months ago, but that was a severe lapse of judgement (and I'm still paying the medical bills as punishment) Last Lipstick: "Office" Christmas party? Last Time Dancing: I seem to have a habit of dancing in the supermarket, even if the music sucks Last Show Attended: Last "live" show was The Von Bondies a few winters ago Last Big Car Ride: Depeneing on your definiton of "big," either going to Andrew's Gram's house for Christmas or going to Stagefort Park in Gloucester for the LeClair/Flannigan/Delaney family reunion Last Crush: Haha probably Kevin because he's been hounding me to let him kknow if I'm single so wee can hook up. Andrew is of course a perpetual one Last Annoyance: Not being able to figure out where the hell my damn hole-punch is! Last Disappointment: Sunday I was bummed out because we were suppossed to drive down to Lowell to see Yiayia but Andrew was sick & didn't want to get out of bed Last Time Scolded: At work last week for some stupid bullshit regarding my ridiculous schedule & my manager's lack of compassion or drive to fix it Last Shirt Worn: Teal polo shirt for work Last Web Site Visited: A book summary of "Fat, Dumb, and Ugly," the book I used to answer the library question that I've forgotten all about |
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| Turning the Page | ||||
| 03:38pm 18/01/2009 | ||||
2009 has had an extremely rough start for me. When I last came to you January 5th, I was on the final day of my period, which in itself is never fun. After that life was good for a mere 2.5 days until the eve of the 8th when I began showing symptoms of what would become the absolute worst cold I've ever had, and now 10 days later I still have resonating issues. At its peak my throat was swollen almost shut, my head was in constant pain with severe pounding every time I sat or stood up, my sinuses were so blocked nothing within them was loose enough to be expelled, my left ear was blocked from full hearing capabilities, my body was so hot that if I tossed & turned in bed, when a cooler part of my body touched the bed where I'd been laying I felt like I was burning, and my left eye was bloodshot due to viral conjunctivitus. Now I'm almost better; my conjunctivitis is still present though not visible, my left ear is still a little blocked (it comes and goes and is extremely annoying) and I've developed a very annoying and uncomfortable cough. As Rhiannon said, "You, my friend, are a right mess." No truer words spoken. How miserable I was! I was going to write some huge long essay about 2009 and all the things I want to accomplish, but I suddenly realize I'm a bit tired, and I've been wanting to play the Sims. So, I'm going to finish up on some things I'm working on, and get on that. Peace. 3 days more and I mark the 7th year anniversary of this journal. Wowzerz. |
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deaf| Yesterday, Productivity Wasn't Far Away / Plans for '09 | ||||
| 01:34pm 05/01/2009 | ||||
I didn't make any new year's resolutions this year. Instead, I'm making a "to-do" list for 2009:
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cold| Oh my god, we're back again! | |||
| 09:13pm 31/12/2008 | |||
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I figured it might as well be time to update again, if not for any other reason than to make sure I remember what happened this year (I tend to forget these things---thank goodness I write them down). Christmas Eve was fun. Andrew and I went to his Aunt Teri's house for lobstah and steak and all sorts of other delish that his cousin Colin made (he's in chef school). We had a yankee swap in which I got a gift certificate to the movies and Andrew got one to Starbucks along with a bag of coffee (now we just have to get filters...). Then we drank (well, we'd been drinking) and tracked Santa, making bets over where he'd go next, along with awful drug and hooker jokes. Teri gave us a bunch of food to take home. Christmas Day was really low-key and not too special. We went to Andrew's parents' place to do laundry. They gave us a big plastic tote full of cleaning products and tools and stuff for the house. Tom gave us each a scarf and the Bible on audio CD (I have no idea why, either) as a gag. Danny gave us "Fact or Crap?" which is a game I've been psyched to try but he got the TV version so I don't know any of the answers and I'm not interested in playing it (the main reason I wanted to try it was to learn some cool factoids). We ate mostly leftovers from Teri's (still tasty) and then sat in the freezing basement while the boys played "Left 4 Dead," which is an intense zombie game. Around 11 Christos came by since I wasn't going to make it into Lowell. We left at midnight and came home. Chris gave me mom's gift, which was a funky cat Christmas tree ornament (I guess she's trying to pick up where Yiayia & Papou left off). He loved the GPS system I got him. Like last year, Andrew and I were too broke to do much for each other. I bought him the "Evolution Kills" shirt from QC last month but it still hasn't shown up and they're not responding to merch eMails yet. I also bought his new cell phone earlier this month but I'll be getting that money back when the rebate comes in. I was really bummed because it didn't feel at all like Christmas. Hopefulyl nect year is much better. Christmas at Grammy's was the 28th. Other than the food it was a total waste of time for me. I sat in a recliner and tried to sleep while the boys watched football and Danny tried taking pictures of me. It was so boring. Came home and vegged. New Year's Eve is today. I'm sitting at home in my PJ's. The weather is terrible, half my friends are sick and the other half have plans, and we don't want to go out in this weather. I'll probably put Dick Clark on in a few hours to watch the ball drop and kiss my sweetie. Tomorrow we have the day off, so we may go out for coffee, and I might go bother Rizzi if she feels better and the weather doesn't suck. Super boring, lol. Now I'm going to go play the Sims. Happy new year everyone. 2008, kiss my ass! |
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | |||
| A MashUp of Entries | ||||
| 02:05am 11/12/2008 | ||||
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you. (Not tagging people, just putting this out there for my own benefit. If anyone expresses a genuine interest in it I'll just copy & paste what I wrote here.) 1. I have a fear of never being content and at peace with my situation. It seems every time I feel I'm finally stabalizing, things go awry. I start getting back on my feet financially with school and then I start getting my immense hospital bills (and as much as I want to fight them tooth & nail, I'm probably going to end up biting my tongue and paying them off for fear of going to collections and fucking my credit up even more). I finally move into an apartment sans outside support, and the home my family has known for over 50 years gets burned down. I get comfortable & content with the relationship I'm in and I've got people I had feelings for in the past coming out of the woodwork who want to jump me. Whatever place I'm at, I sort of wish I was at the opposite end. Once I'm at the opposite end though, I grow discontent and the cycle starts again. I wonder if I'll ever be happy. 2. I wish I was more in tune with myself. In every way. Physically I wish I knew what foods & stress levels trigger my worst acne, how to control my anxieties so my period will be regular, and the best ways to treat my skin so it feels "normal." Mentally I wish I could turn my brain off so I can get some freaking sleep at night and focus my thoughts when I need them to be more productive. Emotionally I wish I wasn't so manic. I know I have issues there and it makes me worry when I decide to have kids, cuz I'll probably develop postpartum depression. END You can see by the start of that list that I wasn't feeling very optamistic yesterday. I started thinking about it afterwards, and then read Wednesday's QC, and I realized how much I think like that. There's so many things that are great right now that I should be happy about:
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | ||||
| Things to do | |||
| 11:25pm 30/11/2008 | |||
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | |||
| Things to do | |||
| 12:31am 29/11/2008 | |||
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | |||
| Greetings from Home | ||||
| 02:14am 22/11/2008 | ||||
---Moving--- Moving was...interesting. The night before I had Andrew put my hair in curlers for the wedding, and they stayed in for the duration of the move. Ian came over and helped us pack everything up, and then at the last minute Andrew's dad needed the truck to run errands so he sort of ruined our plans and we drove up in the car and unpacked everything in like 20 minutes. John showed up part way through, so we got most of the big stuff set up and got Chinese food from Nan King for lunch. I'm sad to say that Nan King, which is like 2 seconds away from us, doesn't really have great food. Sadface :-( But the 7 Eleven has amazing brownies and really nice people. The apartment itself is really nice, I need to post some pictures of it. I love having closets! But shit man, we have a lot of stuff. There is a crawl space attic but you need to go up through our roommates' closet to get to it, so it's probably better we've got everything shoved away in our room. It's set back far from the road and trees separate us from the other 2 duplexes here, plus the apartment on the other side is vacant right now, so it's very peaceful. There's still a lot of things we need to get, though. Right now we don't have a formal dining table or chairs, we've got to wait until January to get a washer/dryer that will come free from someone that Shawn's helping move, I'd like to get a coat tree for the living room, a coffee maker, a dish strainer, and a cutting board. Oh yeah, and a lampshade for my lamp. I'm not looking forward to the bills rolling in! ---TJ & Meri's Wedding--- After we got everything moved in, we readied ourselves for the wedding. We decided to go as a 50's couple. My hair ended up having funny flat marks in the front from the curler hardware so I ended up putting it up in a big curly poof:  I wish we had a better picture. TJ & Meri dressed up in, I don't know, romanti-goth(?) costumes and the wedding was held on the deck, lit by rope lights and dozens of candles. It was a very nice wedding, especially considering it was pulled together in 5 days. I was Maid of  I don't want to post more so they can be surprised when they finally see all the pictures Andrew took. As a thank-you gift they got me 9 mini rubber duckies! |
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | ||||
| Plagiarism a la Rizzi | |||
| 12:07am 24/10/2008 | |||
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1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? -Acne/redness on my cheeks and chin. 2. How much cash do you have on you? -None on my person and $2.27 in my wallet 3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? -Breast 4. Favorite plant? -Hrm...Gerber daisies or bamboo maybe? I wonder how many people write "cannabis" lol 5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell? -I don't really have a missed call list, I have a received call list and number four is the LGH billing agency 6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? -"Phantom" by Justice but I've been meaning to change it forever 7. What shirt are you wearing? -My red sweater under my camo sweatshirt 8. Do you "label" yourself? -Only when I'm bored and in possession of a label maker 9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? -None, but I was wearing Mudd when I got home 10. Bright or Dark Room? -Bright 11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? -She's crazy! 12. Ever "spilled the beans"? -What the hell kinda dumbass question is that? 13. What were you doing at midnight last night? -Downloading more shit for The Sims 2 14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? -"oOoh no im drinking wish me luck with the girl in my bed tonight lol" from Matt after talking about relationships and settling down and stuff, haha 15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? -Once in a while. Lately it's been on the Acai Berry diet banners so I can see close-ups of the pictures and point out flaws that show they're either not the same person or totally photoshopped 16. What's a saying that you say a lot? -"What the...FUCK" apparently according to Andrew lol 17. Who told you they loved you last? -Andrew <3 18. Last furry thing you touched? -My earpops 19. How many drugs have you done in the past three days? -I take 10mg Loratadine every day, dawg 20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? -Lol I've got like 6 from '97 that probably don't even have anything on them anymore! 21. Favorite age you have been so far? -Hrm, they've all had their good and shitty parts. Birthday-wise my 21st was the absolute best bday ever 22. Your worst enemy? -Inner turmoil 23 What is your current desktop picture? -Some abstract purple swirly thingy I found on the web 24. What was the last thing you said to someone? -"That would drive me crazy even under something else with it riding up all the time" -on wearing clothes that aren't cut long enough under other clothes 25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? -Why the hell would I want to waste my time fixing something I did in the past and moved on from, which could catastrophically affect the way my life is now, instead of taking a cool mil and using it to improve my current situation?! Duh! Unless you murdered someone and ended up in jail this question is a no-brainer! |
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | |||
| Moving, and other exciting things | ||||
| 02:28am 23/10/2008 | ||||
Not too too much has happened in the days leading up to this past weekend. Gotten a few ridiculous bills from the hospital I intend on fighting tooth & nail, but that's about it. Last weekend Andrew was away at Drakon. I was up til 3am Friday doing nothing, worked Saturday and passed out before 11 (*gasp!* I know, right!) and Sunday I went with TJ & Meri to Salem. We walked around near the mall where Rizzi works on occasion for most of it. Hid from the freezing wind in the Old Town Hall where we checked out a free "Terror Fantasies Halloween Art Exhibit." There was a lot of cool stuff! My favorite artist was John Clarke whose art was more bright and cute than gory and grimacing. My favorite painting (which isn't on the site) was of a 50's poodle-girl sitting in a malt shop looking fearfully across at her date, who was a werewolf. It was cute. After finishing in the exhibit we walked around for a bit and happened upon the Harley-Davidson/Muscular Dystrophy Witch Ride, meaning we happened upon over a thousand motorcycles driving through Salem. It was LOUD! That lasted at least a half hour, and it was cool to see the bikers who dressed up for the occasion. There was the Joker, Two-Face, Harley Quinn, a couple Santas, bunnies, mice, a keg, and lots of monsters. I hope no dogs or babies in the area went deaf. We all agreed that Andrew should have come at that point :-(. After the ride was finally passed, we went in search of foooood. After a few failed attempts we ended up in the N.Y. Deli in the mall (yay heat! and disgusting bathrooms!). Yeah, all of Salem's public bathrooms are NASTY, at least the ones we saw. We wandered around for a bit more, stopped at the Witch Trial memorial thingy (we sat on poor Giles Corey, though I'm sure he's used to it), and then ended up in the place that we went to for Rizzi's b-day a while back and TJ and I bought sodas and went to the bathroom (gross!) and then talked politics while Meri slept on him, lol. We stayed there for around an hour, walked down to the common, took one more walk up where we started, and then headed back. Meri slept in the back seat. Made it back to Tyngsboro and hung out a few minutes while we waited for Andrew to return from Drakon, and then the four of us met up with Rizzi and Kelsi at Livingston Street Terror. Went through, gleefully cheered at the chainsaws, and got lost in the maze for like, ever. TJ had a blast! Every dead end made him so happy! Haha. When we finally got out, Rizzi and Kelsi headed to Salem (Kelsi had school) and the rest of us went to McDonald's where TJ weirded out the staff there by being...well...TJ. Then we listened to some funny music in the car and then alas, we headed home. It was a fantabulous day. In other news, I'm moving to Hudson at the end of the month! This guy Shawn that I work with is going to be leasing a 2-bedroom townhouse with his girlfriend and their original roommates fell through. I am so excited! 2 closets per bedroom, 1.5 baths, fire pit, driveway (with plowing), and separate yard. House is tucked back from the road too so no annoying street drama. Already got the security deposit paid, just gotta wait for next week's paycheck to get 1st month's rent all set and then we move in! I haven't packed yet; it's always either too late or too cold when I get motivated to do it. I've still got a week+. w00t! Also, Halloween will mark the marriage of TJ & Meri. It's a costume theme wedding though I'm not sure who else plans on actually dressing up. Andrew and I are going as a cute 50's couple (either normal or vapmpire-ed or zombified). I bought a poodle skirt and cat-eye glasses (the bridge is small though so no every day use *frown*). So we're going to party, then move. Busy busy busy! Yeah, I think that's it. I'm cold as all hell so I think I'm going to curl up in bed and try to warm up after I check a few more things. Peace! |
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | ||||
| Witches' Woods | |||
| 10:29pm 06/10/2008 | |||
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*cackle!* So, Bobby, Pockets, and Raine (sp?) got enough free tix from working at Witches' Woods that Andrew, I, John, James, Hillary, Mark, Dee, Brittany, Gary, his friend Alisha, Ian, & Danny all got to go through last night. We got there a little after 7. There were 4 different attractions: Nightmare Mansion, The Keeper's Crypt, Castle Morbid, and the Haunted Hayride, and they were all spread out sort of fairgrounds-style with a few game and concession stands tucked in the middle. They had a lot of actors just wandering around and some were dancing on a stage to silly halloween songs like "The Monster Mash" and such. Nightmare Mansion: this was the first attraction we went through. The décor was really well done and fit the "mansion" theme very well. They had a lot of hiding places (but of course the half of us who've haunted in the past didn't get scared at anything) and one thing that was both weird and different at the same time was that they had a lot of actors roaming the halls like lost spirits. It was different because you don't expect them not to be jumping out at you, but on the other hand you were afraid of bumping into them as you went a long, especially with how large our party was. I thought that one was pretty good. The Keeper's Crypt: was a 3D horrific-themed "toy factory." My big suggestion is to make sure you wipe the lenses of yoru 3D glasses off and don't bother putting them on until you make it through to the part that has the actual 3D stuff in it; the first leg of it's just dark and black lights and with the glasses on you can't see jack shit. Once you get to where the paint is though, it's really cool. They had one room painted like "Alice in Wonderland" and the Cheshire Cat's face followed you as you walked through the room. It was very trippy. James and a few of the others got separated into the tour behind us, and at one point there was this huge mutated rabbit. James is scared to death of rabbits. He made the mistake of saying out loud that he hates fucking rabbits. So, the rabbit followed him through the tour and popped up later to get him, lol. The 3D aspect made this one really cool, but the guy in the very last room should have made a noise when he was coming out towards you (you really think I'd ruin the surprise?) Castle Morbid: was, you guessed it, a vampirian themed "castle." The guy at the entrance did an awesome job hamming up the vampire role, but the haunt in general was just okay. At one point there's a girl begging for someone to help her out of there, but she's not shackled or chained or trapped or anything, just standing there. It's like, "der if you want out follow us lol" and the end was very anti-climactic. If you go I'd say do that one first so you can build up from there. The Haunted Hayride: was the BEST attraction of them all. We're all walking down there, and it's a ways of a walk cuz there's a lot of ground for them to cover, and all of a sudden everyone around me is acting weird. I finally turn around and there's this guy in a red robe with a staff and crazy eyes following me, completely silent. The poor guy must have been bummed when instead of jumping I went, "hi!" way too enthusiastically. He followed us for a little bit and then we got down near the entrance of the hay ride. They had a bunch of jack-o-lanterns on display and we started to look at them but the rest of the group went ahead so we rushed off to catch up. Before the entrance of the hay ride they had a bunch of still horror movie scenes set up in small rooms with windows, like zoo exhibits. Some of them were cool, some of them were lame (like the Freddy one; he looked like crap). At the last one there was a red button on the side of the building with a sign that said, "WARNING: DO NOT PRESS THE RED BUTTON" so of course we told James to go push it. There was a skull with hair in its face hanging over the button, and when James pressed it air came shooting out of the skull's mouth, making the hair flail wildly, setting off a strobe light, and making James jump. it was hilarious. So we finally make it to the entrance of the hay ride, climb aboard (I took off my shoes cuz they were backless and I didn't want them falling off), and this guy dressed up as some famous executioner proceeds to give us a tour of the woods, sharing all the haunted tales he's heard of them. Lots of different stories and scenery, things jumping out here and there, it was pretty good. We get to where Pockets is and as we drive away he starts screaming and grabbing for James, asking him to stay. He did a really good job, very passionate. So we're tugging along and I keep looking for Bobby. After a little bit through the woods we're in this clearing and the tour guide starts telling us about this guy whose story I forget,but his name was Topper Griffin. All of a sudden I see this figure off in the distance and hear the wonderful sound of a chainsaw revving, and without even thinking I started clapping my hands gleefully and shouted, "YES!" and the guy came right at me. Apparently he got really close because everyone else was afraid he was going to hit me in the face but I LOVED it (I had my chainsaw earrings on ^_^) and seeing that made me all sorts of happy. He did a fantastic job and probably scares the shit out of a lot of people. Then we got towards the end where Bobby was and I didn't recognize him but everyone else did, so we're all like, "Bobby quick! Get on the truck!" and right before we made it back to the entrance the tour guide had us all scream at the top of our lungs. I forget the reason he gave but we know it was to creep out the next group. It felt good to scream! So, after we get done the hay ride we're heading back up and were looking at all the jack-o-lanterns. I was talking with Gary and I forget what he said but suddenly he's like, "He's BACK!" and whips me around to find the tall guy with the robe and the staff behind me again! I was like, "hi! I was wondering where you ran off to!" and Gary asked me what my new boyfriend's name was but I told him I didn't' know cuz he doesn't talk much, then he started tapping his staff on the ground and Alisha told me she though he was trying to communicate, so I looked at it and there was a little plastic wolf head on the top of it. I tapped in on the nose and went, "boop!" and giggled, and we left. Guy was pretty cute, hope I didn't disappoint him by being a dud target. We were there for about two hours. Overall I had a lot of fun. I'm not sure if I'd pay the $25 to go back; on the one hand it's a bit pricey but you do get more than 4 attractions out of it, so I dunno. I was texting Bobby about it today and I think if my schedule doesn't suck ass next year, I might think about finding a job there if other haunters are interested. I miss it. After that, all but Mark, Hillary, Dee, and Danny went to Friday's for late late dinner, and then Andrew and I wandered around Walmart for a few hours. Unfortunately the night didn't end well cuz Andrew got sick :-( but as a whole it was a great time. Now, I wonder what haunt we'll go to next... |
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| ♦ ♠ Pick A Card ♣ ♥ | |||
| Last Night's Drunken Dreams | |||
| 03:32pm 14/09/2008 | |||
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Started with me at work. Some crazy babbling old man comes into the department (which looks very different) with a pair of big texas-style glass bifocals that are missing a temple arm, and he wants me to fix them. I'm trying to work on them and he keeps distracting me, trying to get into shit. The small storage containers that we usually keep screws and nosepads and such in now hold lots of small glass pipes and acrylic flesh tubes/gauges/plugs/etc. all in neon blacklight sensitive colors. The guy takes one of the drawers of plugs and puts it in the front pocket of his hoodie and refuses to give it back to me. I'm trying to get him to give it back and he won't so I finally have to reach into the pocket and get them, all the while he's like thrusting at me in hopes I'll touch his half-hard penis in the process. I remember shouting at him to get the hell out of my department and to never come back, and then yelling at poor coach Ryan about what happened and that he better not discipline me for yelling at the member. Then I'm walking around some random dollar store trying to find a trinket to add to my birthday gift for Rhiannon, and I'm not having any luck. Some creepy blonde kid around my age starts talking to me, telling me or singing to me (I forget) about some group or cult or something he wants me to join, I think he tried touching me or got uncomfortably close to me too. I don't remember the details but I do remember telling him several times that I didn't care about what he had to say, and to leave me alone and stuff. Finally I realize I need to get out of there because he won't stop harassing me; I go towards the door and then double back, running and taking a flying leap over the register counter and landing on my feet. I forget why the hell I did this. Then I remember trying to slap the creepy blonde kid before leaving the store. I was outside and it was late afternoon and kind of dreary with a light sprinkle going on and I needed to find somewhere to get away so the creepy kid wouldn't follow me. I wove through some backyards and houses, wishing I could get to a phone to call Andrew and have him pick me up. Then I'm in my grandparents' kitchen, relaying the creepy blonde kid story to Rhiannon. She went to get a drink from the sink and the water was kinda cloudy so I asked her why she didn't use the water filter. She tried that but it was empty, so I grabbed a pitcher and put it into my Newbury Comics tote bag and filled it. My Uncle Philip was there for a moment but didn't say anything. I filled the pitcher and the bag (how water didn't leak through the canvas, I don't know) and filled the filter up. Orange juice came out of it and I gave us each a full glass. Then I woke up. The end. More drinking at Bobby's last night, this time we had a bonfire. I went through a whole 6-pack of Bacardi Mojitos (because Walmart doesn't carry the regular Bacardi Silver, damn them) and got trashed. Tiffany had a book of racial jokes that she got from a friend she hadn't seen in ages who is now apparently a neo-nazi, so we all stamped our tickets to hell and got drunk and read horrible racist jokes. We also roasted marshmallows and drunk dialed a few people. I still can't, in my head, figure out what is so fun about sitting around a fire for 5 hours just talking about shit, but they're always enjoyable. Came home, passed out, woke up a few times, had abovementioned strange dreams. I've just finished listening through the new Metallica Album and I'm waiting to hear if there's company upstairs so I can take a shower in peace. |
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